Monday, March 8, 2010

Reality thy name is Sansani

It was an usual Monday afternoon lunch at the office with some colleagues. The Monday Blues had typically been replaced by weekly bewilderment by the time lunch time manifested itself.There were few people going about with purposeful looks on their faces- grim determined looks radiating confidence and purpose, while a majority of the populace had the bewildered look which I allured to earlier. Amongst the din the TV on the wall was showing images of the "breaking news" of one of the Sansani channels-the news reader exuding dollops of suspense and sensations pulsating with a ear splitting high pitched voice. The overall effect would have made Ramsay Brothers proud- but that's probably also the reason why Ramsay brothers have stopped making horror films- they got replaced by sansani news !


The news grab was showing the "debate" on the Women's Reservation Bill to be presented to the parliament.The camera zeroed in to some "parliamentarians" shouting , thumping their desks and jumping over each other ,which were followed by exciting scenes of objects being hurled. I could make out some of the objects as microphones, paper sheaf's, etc. Something flew real fast which almost looked like a chair.I could never be sure on that one ! Maybe it was a table !


My colleague remarked that if he had his way, he would enforce a "seat belt" system in the parliament- belts which would get locked once the esteemed parliamentarian would manage to squeeze his/her rear into the seat and which would get opened only at the end of the day .I hastened to remind him that that would possibly make parliamenatry debates less exciting and pave way for the return of Ramsay Brother films, and he had to then chose his piece of entertainment- he could not have both ! The purposeful look on his face was instantly replaced by the bewildered one , and he quietly went about playing with his lunch.

Speaking of TV shows, if sansani news ( they call it insightful news) were the creme de la creme of all entertainment programs, they are closely followed by the reality shows on air these days. "What about Saas -Bahu shows?" you ask me. "Nah…they ain't interesting any more. A little bird told me that all the Saas and Bahus worldwide have made peace with each other and all that oozes out when they cross each other's path is kindness and love, with no evidence of animosit√© being manifested at all . Thus, the Saas Bahu shows could not sustain any more, and reality TV has replaced the same". Ekta Kapoor is currently jobless.


Today you have reality shows on anything- your imagination is the only limit."Musical Talent Hunts" , "Past Life Investigations " ( I badly wanted to take part in one but they refused me on suspicious grounds), " Dance competitions ", "Bone Breaking competitions" , "Dating Shows ", "Dating Catastrophes shows", "Swayamvar" show ( ones in which no body gets married eventually) "Swayamvar" shows ( ones in which some marries all or all marries someone), "divorce shows", "pre divorce shows", "post divorce shows", etc, etc. Coming soon, I believe, are "Fired from jobs" shows, "Shiny Bald Head Talent Search" shows, "Future Life Investigation" shows, "Bathroom Idols" show,"Size Zero to Size 10" shows(Kareena kapoor is the hostess for the Size 10 show ),"Office Politics" show( they search for the most slimy top gun) ,"Kitchen Fights" shows and "Best Cows in the Traffic "reality show.


I have expressed my willingness to participate in any of the above shows, in the either capacity of participant or host . I have approached all the production houses and am currently waiting for my big break ! After so many years, I have realized that that is the job I really want to do - the calling of my liking !